Monday May 30th, 2011
The stars still twinkled at that hour, winking our shared secret. I am so grateful, oh Lover of my Soul! Thank you, thank you, thank you. That is my prayer this morning.
I was not pleased when that mosquito woke me up at 3:30. I was even less pleased when 15 minutes later I was tossing and turning. I was downright steamed when 15 minutes after that I was still laying awake, thinking thinking thinking, with unrest in my spirit. I thought that you might want me for yourself this early morning… all I wanted was to not be dead on my feet all day of weariness. I told you that if I was still awake at 4:30 I’d get up and listen to you… I should have known and saved myself the next half hour of sillyness. You ask me to get up with you at 4:30?… so be it, it shall be done.
Thank you. Thank you for considering me worthy enough to be called to listen in exactly the same way you did with your Son! “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Mark 1:34-36 It was his habit, I know, and perhaps that is what you want it to become for me, but for whatever reason you chose it for this morning, I thank you for the honor of considering me worthy enough to ask of me something you asked of Him.
I have been thirsty. You know this. I have been waiting to hear from you like that. You know this as well, and as I sat in your presence and looked at the things you told your beloved disciples as they went out for the first time I formed questions in my spirit…
Am I hated by any on account of your name? (I don’t think so.) Would I allow that to happen? (I don’t know.) Do I recognize that the work you do through me is you and not me? (Sometimes.) Do I live in wisdom always mindful of that to which my life testifies? (*sigh*) Do I listen, just listen… that I might live by your spirit moment by moment… that I might be praying continually (1 Thess. 5:17)?
Thank you for breaking through at 3:30 this morning. You have made my day! I am grateful for mosquitoes. Thank you for loving me enough to redeem all my ugliness and brokenness and even my laziness… goodness knows there’s plenty of it all. Thank you for one hour alone with you without anyone else’s demands to meet. Thank you for using me to love others. I am honored. Now please sustain me with the energy I need to honor you with the things you see fit for me to do today.