Dangerous Prayers

Tuesday August 16th, 2011

I know it’s been, like, almost a MONTH since I’ve written, sorry. Life… you know.  Laundry, dishes, cooking, picking up toys, playing play dough, chasing around outside, cleaning up spilled milk from a dripping bottle, folding laundry, picking up kids from school, grocery shopping, putting food away, prepping produce, putting laundry away (doesn’t happen as much as it should… we often live out of the laundry basket until the pile of dirty is too big and I need the basket agian).  All that good stuff.

Lately I have been doing spiritually ok.  Not horrible or disconnected, not great and thriving, just ok.  This is fine for survival mode, but when it becomes the norm, that starts to worry me.  So I started praying a little while ago that God would show me more of Himself. *Hmmmm.*

About a month ago God laid a specific girl upon my heart that I think He would love for me to invest my life in through discipleship.

Also… A short time ago, my dear sweet other half told me of a possible opportunity to start teaching a discipleship group for women. We would meet on a weekly bais to study the life and ministry of Jesus, and learn how to be true disciples and make true disciples as He did.

Also… We have had laid on our hearts as a couple the possibility of investing for a short time (or longer, who knows) in some friends who are making some big life-changing discisions and seeking God and healing in that process.

Now, I am not complaining.  I do not know what will come (if anything) of any or all three of these, and I LOVE when God makes it so obvious that He is answering our prayers… but really?  Three different things?  All awesome ways to invest the very little time I feel I have available at this point and all speaking right to my passions?  I am at a TOTAL loss as to how much of this I could jump into, knowing full well that in my own power and strength I can do none of it.  I’ve been praying about it specifically for three days now and have tons of peace but still no answer.

Here is what I think… I think that asking for “more of Himself” was a dangerous prayer to pray.  I have a hunch that “more of Himself”, this time, is learning a little more about walking by faith.

“Ugh…” sighs my reluctant and selfish heart, “ok.”

Here is my prayer:  What is my step of faith, Jesus?  It does not matter what I see as possible or not possible, but what YOU see as possible and what YOU want to do… so what do You want to do?   I will try to be all ears but we both know that sometimes I am hard of hearing over all the ruckus around here, so go ahead and shout if needed.

Will you please pray this with me? Thanks.

Is God asking any steps of faith from your feet?  I’d love to know… it would be an encouragement to me.

The Epistolarian